Toss Some Cookies (Into Your Faceholes)

I'm not much of a cookie person throughout the year (I'm more of a crumble/cobbler person), but when Christmas rolls around (with PMS in tow - THANKS, SANTA!), my inner fat girl dons her fuzzy blue suit and googley-eyes and wants to nomnomnom all over everything.

These cookies are everything.

EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!

I've made them 3 times in 5 days. Ridic. And super easy. This recipe makes 12-16 cookies, depending on how you portion them. I like to make smaller batches since our family usually ends up eating them all, no matter how many I make. You could easily double the recipe for a higher yield.

Chewy Chocolate Chip Cookies

Ingredients
1 1/4 cups flour (all purpose, bread, or gluten free)
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp kosher salt
1 stick butter, softened
3/4 cup coconut palm sugar (or brown sugar)
1 egg
1/2 tsp vanilla
+/- 1 cup bittersweet chocolate chips (such as Ghirardelli)
+/- 1/2 cup semisweet chocolate chips
(I use +/- because sometimes you feel like a lot of chips, and sometimes you don't)
*optional (but I will think less of you if you skip it) - flaked sea salt for topping

Preheat the oven to 375F. In a small bowl, whisk the flour, baking soda, and salt. In a medium to large mixing bowl, beat the butter until smooth, then add the sugar and beat until light and creamy (a few minutes). Add the egg and vanilla and mix until completely incorporated. Add the dry ingredients and mix on low speed (or use a wooden spoon) until just combined. Mix in the chocolate chips. Form the dough into about 1.5" balls (about 2 level tablespoons worth) and space them evenly onto 2 cookie sheets. Bake for 10-11 minutes, rotating and switching the pans on the oven racks halfway through, until the tops of the cookies are just no longer shiny. Immediately sprinkle the tops with sea salt (if desired… and you should definitely desire this). Let the cookies cool on the pans for 3-5 minutes to let them firm up, then transfer (carefully if you used a lot of chocolate chips!) to a cooling rack.

Try to let them cool for at least a couple of minutes. I can't be held responsible for molten chocolate burning your face off if you don't.

I burned my face off. It was worth it.

If you really wanted to put these mofo's overthetop, and if you have 15-20 extra minutes of prep time, you could make these into Brown Butter Chewy Chocolate Chip Cookies. The recipe is the same, but you brown the butter before mixing.

Add the butter to an oven-proof dish and put it in the oven while the it preheats. Once it melts, keep an eye on it. When the butter begins to bubble and just begins to toast and turn light brown, remove the dish from the oven. Pour the browned butter into the mixing bowl, then put the bowl in the fridge for  about 10 minutes to let the butter cool, then follow the recipe as normal. If the dough seems too sticky to shape, let it sit in the refrigerator for 10-15 minutes to firm up before shaping and baking.

Feed Your Inner Grinch

Is it really almost Christmas? I hope so… otherwise the lights I put up outside are more White Trash than White Christmas. Speaking of white trash, you should have seen the ridiculous scene that was the hanging of said lights. It looked a lot like me trying not to fall off of standing on a barstool in the bushes, hammering away and yelling at my toddler to stop standing buck-naked at the screen door and put some pants on. 

Classy. 

My girlfriends and I have recently started up a weeklyish excuse to day-drink brunch, and last week my friend Megan made a yummy quiche (and a shit ton of bacon - thanks again for that, Megan!) to go along with our mimosas. Apparently she's put me on a quiche kick, because I was craving it again this weekend. I had some leftover ham and roasted broccoli, so Sunday morning I decided to see what I could come up with. These were born. 

These green eggs and ham will make your Grinch heart grow 3 sizes. Just don't eat too many or your waistline may do the same.

Candied Ham & Broccoli Quiche Muffins w/ Biscuit Crust

Ingredients:

*1/2 cup unbleached flour

*1/2 cup whole wheat flour

*or use 1 cup GF flour

1/2 tsp baking powder

1/4 tsp salt

1 tsp raw sugar or coconut sugar

a few grinds of pepper

1 cup greek yogurt, divided

1/4 cup heavy cream or half and half

8-10 oz cubed ham (I used uncured Black Forest ham from Whole Foods)

1 tbs maple syrup or honey

1 cup roasted broccoli or asparagus, chopped

1 cup shredded cheese (I used smoked Gouda)

4 eggs

Grease a 6 cup large muffin tin (or 12 cup regular sized one). Preheat the oven to 425 degrees, and preheat a nonstick skillet to medium high heat. In a food processor, pulse together the flour, baking powder, salt, sugar, and pepper. In a small bowl, whisk 1/2 cup yogurt and the cream. Add the yogurt mixture to the processor and pulse just until it forms a dough. Turn the dough out onto a floured surface and gently press into a rectangular shape. Score the dough in half, then each half into thirds to form 6 equalish portions (or repeat the scoring one more time to make 12 portions). Press each portion into the muffin cups to make the crusts for each quiche. Bake at 425 for 10 minutes.

While the crusts bake, sauté the ham in the hot skillet for a minute, then add the syrup or honey and continue cooking until the liquid evaporates and begins to get sticky, and the ham begins to develop deep caramelization. While it cooks, combine the shredded cheese and chopped broccoli (or asparagus) in a medium bowl. Add the candied ham to the bowl, and mix to combine. Spoon this mixture evenly into the par-baked biscuit crusts. 

Reduce the oven temp to 375 degrees. In the same bowl you mixed the ham, whisk the eggs, the remaining 1/2 cup yogurt, and a pinch of salt. A little at a time, evenly ladle the egg mixture over the filling of each muffin cup. The custard should be just about level with the top of each cup. Gently press the filling down a bit to evenly disperse the custard throughout. Bake the quiches at 375 for about 15 minutes, or until the custard is set. Keep in mind that they will continue to cook a bit once you remove them from the oven, so a few remaining bubbly spots are okay.

Cool in pan 5 minutes. If necessary, use a paring knife to assist in removing the muffins from the pan. 

Serve warm or at room temperature…

Or on a train or in the rain, or with a goat or on a boat.