Sunday, May 10, 2015

Feed Your Mom's Face

Happy Mother's Day to all of you who grew a human, and also to those who didn't and mom anyway. You bitches rock! Hope your families spoil your faces off!

My sweet lil fam' presented me with this gold bracelet to commemorate the year I painted allllll the things gold. (I may have gone a little nuts with gold spray paint and my gold leaf pen when it came to styling the new house this year... ) I love it, and I love the memories it evokes every time I look at it.

We have a lovely, lazy day at home planned for today... a "nothing" day, as we call it. My absolute favorite! I don't even have to put on pants! 


I have a couple of recipes I want to try out later today, and I'm already drooling just thinking about them. If they taste as good in my piehole as they do in my brain, I'll share them this week. One of them might include avocado hollandaise...

For now, I'm sharing last night's simple dinner, which in its own right would be a fantastic and flavorful Mother's Day meal. We had a fun, busy day yesterday (went to a birthday party/cookout some friends had for their twin toddlers) and were pooped by the time we got home. I didn't want a complicated dinner, but I also needed it to be on the lower end of the calorie scale.

Because I ate all the chicken wings at the party. And I may have dipped said wings into a cream-cheese-chorizo-Rotel concoction that was referred to as "man dip." (I'm pretty sure the "man dip" was supposed to go with crackers or chips, but since I can't has the carbage, I got creative.) 

Anyway, I had leftover breakfast sausage and part of an onion, plus a head of cauliflower and some greens in the fridge. I contemplated making some kind of soup out of it, but it was hot as balls in our house (because I'm turning into my grandmother and refusing to turn on the A/C until it's 1000 degrees outside), so I wasn't in the mood for soup. I decided on a deconstructed hash kinda deal, and Oh. My. Yum.

Roasted Cauliflower Steak With Sausage, Baby Kale, and Poached Egg


1 head cauliflower, trimmed of bottom stem and leaves
coconut oil spray (or other cooking spray)
salt and pepper
sprinkle of smoked paprika or cumin (optional)
1/2lb ground sausage
1/4 cup diced onion
4 eggs
12 cups baby kale
1 Tbs plus 1 tsp red wine (or other) vinegar, divided
1 Tbs extra virgin olive oil

Preheat the oven to 425 degrees, and line a sheet pan with parchment paper or a silpat. (You could totally grill it instead!) Slice the cauliflower lengthwise into about 1" thick steaks. (Leave a little more stem on the cauliflower when you trim it to help the steaks stay together when slicing.) Some of the florets will fall off - just roast them alongside the steaks. Spray one side of the steaks with the cooking spray, then season with salt, pepper, and a bit of cumin or smoked paprika. Carefully transfer them (a spatula helps), seasoned side DOWN, to the sheet pan. Spray and season the other side. Roast them in the oven for about 25 minutes, until tender and browned with lots of crispy (kurspy) edges.

While the cauliflower cooks, sauté the sausage in a skillet until brown and kurspy, then add the onions (and/or any other veg you want) and cook until softened and browning on the edges. Sprinkle with a little cumin or smoked paprika if you want.

Meanwhile, fill a nonstick skillet with a couple inches of water and bring to a low boil. Add 1 Tbs vinegar to the water. Crack an egg, pour it into a small bowl and then gently pour the egg into the simmering water (start at the top of the pan and add them in a clockwise pattern to remember which order the eggs entered the pan - first one in is first one out). Repeat the process for the remaining 3 eggs. Once all the eggs are added, cover the skillet and turn off the heat. Let the eggs poach for 3 to 5 minutes (depending on how firm you like your egg). Use a slotted spoon to gently remove the eggs from the water, and drain them on a paper towel before serving.

*If you ain't got time to poach a damned egg, feel free to just fry some up in the sausage drippings in the other skillet. Save's some dishes, nerves,  and would be just as (if not MORE) tasty. 


Toss the greens with the remaining vinegar, the olive oil, and a little salt and pepper. They don't need to be super dressed, because the toppings will add tons of flavor to them.

Top the greens with a cauliflower steak, a big spoonful of sausage, and an egg.

Serves 4
Approximate nutrition per serving ~ 347 calories, 4.3 net carbs, 26g fat, 20g protein 

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