Stuff Yourself (Some Chicken) and Play Dress Up (With a Bonus Recipe)

We have some company this week - my great friend from our Hawaii days and her little son are in town - and it's been fun trying out some ketogenic recipes on her. She's loving them, and she's even thinking about adopting the way of eating soon to see if it helps with some of her inflammatory health issues - yay! For now she's following up some of the keto meals with a spoonful (or three) of oreo-cookie-butter, but hey - baby steps, right?? (Maybe I need to experiment with a making a low-carb oreo-cookie-butter? YASSS.)

I made this chicken dinner the other night for us, and even my mushroom-hating girlfriend thought it was fab! 

Gruyere Stuffed Chicken With Mushroom Sauce

Ingredients

4 boneless, skinless chicken breasts (about 6oz each)

2 oz gruyere cheese, chopped or shredded

4 Tbs olive oil

20 oz mushrooms (I used half bellas, half button), sliced

1/2 cup red or white wine (I used Apothic White because I had it leftover from another recipe)

2 tsp tamari soy sauce (or liquid aminos)

1/2 Tbs steak sauce or worcestershire

water

toothpicks

Preheat a large skillet over med-high heat, and preheat the oven to 425 degrees. Prepare a sheet pan with parchment paper, silpat, or foil (for easy cleanup).

Use a small knife to cut a slit in the top (thicker, meatier part) of each chicken breast. Using your flat palm (placed on top of the breast *teehee*) as a guide to feel what's going on, carefully move the knife slowly back and forth inside the chicken to create a pocket for the cheese. Try NOT to cut all the way through the top or bottom surface of the breast, as this will create an escape hatch for all your melty cheese. 

Carefully stuff the pockets you created with about 1/2 oz of cheese per breast. Use a toothpick to help close up the slit at the top to secure the cheese inside. (You can also use an extra toothpick - or THREE, in my case! - to help close up any whoopsies on the surface of the breast you may have made with over-zealous knife skills.) Remember how many toothpicks you used so that you know how many to remove at serving time (or at least warn your diners about them... LEARN FROM MY MISTAKES, PEOPLE!).

Coat your chicken in about a tablespoon of olive oil, and any seasonings you'd like (salt, pepper, poultry seasoning, whatevs). Sear the breast for a few minutes on each side, then move them to the prepared sheet pan and roast in the oven for about 10 minutes, or until cooked through (165 F internal temp). Let rest a couple of minutes before serving.

While the chicken cooks in the skillet, slice your mushrooms if they didn't come that way. Once you've removed the chicken from the skillet, add the other 3 Tbs olive oil to the pan along with all the mushrooms. Let them cook/brown for a few minutes before seasoning with salt and pepper. Give them a good stir every few minutes to promote even cooking. Once they've cooked down and browned nicely, remove about a quarter of them from the pan and place in a blender along with the wine, tamari, and steak sauce. Puree until smooth. Add a half cup of water or so and blend again if the mixture seems too thick. Pour the mixture back into the skillet with the mushrooms, and simmer a few minutes to let the alcohol evaporate. Taste for seasoning and adjust as necessary. 

Serve the sauce with the chicken, along with any other sides you love. I chose roasted asparagus and eggplant (which I roasted alongside the chicken).

Serves 4

Approximate nutrition per serving ~ 437 calories, 23g fat, 6.3 net carbs, 43.9g protein

BONUS RECIPE! 

Dress up your boring old salad routine with a rich and creamy and NUTRITIOUS salad dressing (that also makes a great dipping sauce for all kinds of foods).

The star of this simple dressing is tahini, which is the sesame seed equivalent to peanut butter. (It's also the ingredient that takes hummus from chickpea-puree to something really yummy.) Sesame seeds are so much more than those little things they sprinkle on burger buns and Chinese takeout - they're little super foods! 

Health Benefits

Not only are sesame seeds an excellent source of copper and a very good source of manganese, but they are also a good source of calcium, magnesium, iron, phosphorus, vitamin B1, zinc, molybdenum, selenium, and dietary fiber. In addition to these important nutrients, sesame seeds contain two unique substances: sesamin and sesamolin. Both of these substances belong to a group of special beneficial fibers called lignans, and have been shown to have a cholesterol-lowering effect in humans, and to prevent high blood pressure and increase vitamin E supplies in animals. Sesamin has also been found to protect the liver from oxidative damage.

 Source: http://www.whfoods.com/genpage.php?tname=foodspice&dbid=84

Easy Tahini Dressing

Ingredients

1 Tbs tahini

2 tsp unfiltered apple cider vinegar

big pinch of salt

sugar substitute to taste (about 1 tsp sugar equivalent)

water

optional - garlic powder, cumin, paprika, or any other spice you love

Whisk all ingredients except the water in a small bowl. Add water a little at a time until it reaches a consistency you prefer. Feel free to adjust the amounts of the ingredients to suit your tastes.

Serves 1

Approximate nutrition per serving ~ 105 calories, 9.5g fat, 1 net carb, 3g protein

The tahini dressing was delish on my lunchtime salad of spicy Italian chicken sausage, hard-boiled egg, peppers, greens, and hemp seeds! I'd love to hear what you dress up with yours!

Baaaack In the Saddle With BACON-Wrapped Chicken Legs

Hey all, I'm back. The past year has been stressful. We moved from Hawaii to Maryland (ya know, just 3000 miles... no biggie), bought a house, began renovating, and hubby started a year-long specialized training that has him working 15 hour days. I've had the tireds, the sads, and the brokes, no job to help with reno-costs, and lately no motivation for anything. Except to watch ALL the Netflix. And eat all the things. And my wardrobe hates me for it!

What to do?

Eat the feelings (because they're DELICIOUS) and watch more Netflix.

And glare at the scale when it tells you you've gained 10 pounds (12 pounds). LIES!! (Not lies. Sad-face. With extra chins.)

What to do? 

Whine. Then eat. Then wine. Then cry.

Then CHANGE.

Because this isn't your first rodeo, and you know the only way to get results is to put in the work.

Personally, I've always had more luck with weight loss (esp as I get older) when I restrict my carbohydrate intake. But I've never stuck with a low carb diet, mostly because I love fruits and veggies, and I always felt like I was being deprived of them when I was low-carbing. I felt like the "right" way to low-carb was to brush my teeth with bacon, floss with cheese, and gargle with butter. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE all those foods, but not 24/7. I get that that's an exaggerated view of the lifestyle, but it's how I had come to associate the lifestyle, and it was putting me off. 

I wanted a lifestyle of limited carbs WITH the colorful, fresh produce I've come to love. Interwebs to the rescue! After browsing some recipes on Pinterest, I stumbled upon the ketogenic/keto-paleo lifestyle. It's basically a high fat, low carb, and moderate protein way of eating. 

AND IT ROCKS.

"A ketogenic diet isn't something new that has been recently formulated; people have been on a ketogenic diet for virtually three million years in which our brains were nurtured and evolved. Now the human brain is not only shrinking, but brain atrophy is the norm as we age and get plagued with diseases such as dementia, Alzheimer's disease and Parkinson's disease.

People mistakenly think that they need to eat less and exercise more to create a calorie deficit in order to lose weight. This is not how diet and exercise helps with weight loss. A well-formulated keto-adapted diet along with proper exercise builds muscle and muscle builds mitochondria. It is in the mitochondria where fat is oxidized so you can keep your cells and liver insulin sensitized. Weight loss and health is about healthy mitochondria and about controlling hormones and specifically insulin. 

This is not a diet, it is a lifestyle. By eating this way, you will begin to heal your cells and will keep evolving your body into the happy and healthy person you want to be."

From the book Keto-Adapted by Maria Emmerich

Basically (i.e. "I Cannot Brain Today" terms), when you limit your daily carbohydrate intake (I try to keep mine at or under 20 net carbs, but under 50 per day can work for some), your body stops using the sugar you eat as its main energy supply, and it begins breaking down fats (and stored body fat) to fuel its functions. 

For an expert explanation, read something like this.

Fat is where it's at, people!

I've been keto for just over 2 weeks now, and not only have I lost more than 6 pounds, but my skin is breakout-free and glowing (even during Shark Week), all my bloating/puffiness has disappeared, my moods have been awesome (I haven't gone She-Hulk on my kids all week!), I've felt super-focused, had tons of energy, and felt satiated all the time!

I've been cooking up a storm, and I can't wait to post some of the recipes for you! But one in particular just HAD to be shared. 

Guys. THIS. 

Bbq bacon-wrapped chicken legs with pimenta'-cheese cauliflower gratin and sweet & tangy coleslaw. Whaaaaaat???

Shut yo' face.

Bacon-Wrapped BBQ Chicken

Ingredients

(All my ingredients are Trader Joe's brand - use what you like)

12 chicken legs

6 slices bacon

12 toothpicks

2 tbs ketchup

2 tbs steak sauce

2 tbs apple cider vinegar

Preheat the oven to 400 degrees, and prepare a sheet pan with parchment paper, foil, or a silpat.

Soak the toothpicks in a bowl of water, then prep the chicken while they soak. If desired, trim up the legs "lollipop" style, and remove the skin. I watched this video to learn the process, and it was quite helpful. Removing the skin is definitely easier if you trim the chicken as pictured. Season the chicken with salt and pepper, or with whatever seasonings you prefer. Cut the bacon slices in half (across the short side) so that you have 12 short, fat pieces. Wrap one slice around each drumstick, securing the bacon to the chicken where it overlaps onto itself (don't skewer yourself in the process).

Stand the drumsticks up on the sheet pan, leaving some space between each one so the heat can circulate around them. Bake at 400 for about 40 minutes, or until the bacon looks like good bacon do. 

While it bakes, whisk up the ketchup, steak sauce, and vinegar. I mixed them up in a small diameter bowl with taller sides (like a ramekin or a drinking glass - just has to be wider than the chicken leg) so that I could just dunk and swirl the chicken in the sauce without having to make more sauce than I needed for the recipe. Alternately, you could brush on the sauce. 

Remove the chicken from the oven, and raise the heat to 450. Coat the chicken in the sauce, then bake again for another 5 minutes or so, until your sexy little legs look glazed and schticky. Let cool about 5 minutes so you don't melt your face off. 

Serving size: 2 drumsticks

Approximate nutrition per serving ~ 315 calories, 20g fat, 34g protein, 0 net carbs

Pimenta' Cheese Cauliflower Gratin

It tastes like a loaded baked potato. Maybe better. #forreal 

And I think I've found a way around soggy cauliflower!

Ingredients

1 head cauliflower, trimmed and chopped into medium-sized pieces

3 paper towels (for extra fiber - JUST KIDDIN')

2 Tbs heavy cream

1 Tbs butter

5 oz smoked gouda cheese, shredded 

3 oz pepper jack cheese, shredded

1 Tbs mayonnaise

6 queen green pimento stuffed olives, chopped or sliced

1/8 tsp nutmeg

1/8 tsp cayenne (optional)

salt and pepper

In a large microwave-safe bowl with a lid, place two sheets of paper towel in the bottom (the excess will run up the sides and out of the bowl). Place the cauliflower on top, sprinkle with a big pinch of salt, cover the dish with another paper towel, and then top with the lid. Microwave for 10-15 minutes (depending on your microwave) until the florets fall apart easily when forked (tee-hee), but not to the point of mush. 

Preheat the oven to 425 degrees (450 will work, too, if your oven is already there for the chicken).

Carefully remove the lid and top paper towel (no steam burns, please) and remove the cooked cauliflower to a plate (or other temporary holding area), taking care not to shred the wet paper towels on the bottom. Once the cauliflower is out, toss the paper towels and any liquid left in the bowl. Add the cauliflower back into the now empty bowl, and smash it lightly with a fork. I like mine on the chunky side (that's what she said).

To the smashed cauliflower, add the heavy cream, butter, half of each cheese, the mayo, half of the olives, and the spices. Mix well and taste for seasoning, adjusting as necessary. Pour the mixture into a casserole dish (8"x8"-ish) and then top with the rest of the cheese and olives. Bake until bubbly and browned to your liking.

Serves 4 (Big Ass Servings)

Approximate nutrition per serving ~ 306 calories, 25g fat, 15g protein, 4 net carbs

Tangy Coleslaw

If you're a fan of KFC's coleslaw, you're gonna like it! If you're not a fan of their coleslaw, we can't be friends. Ugh, okaaaaaaay. Maybe we can.

Ingredients

1 bag broccoli slaw (about 5 cups)

1 bag shredded cabbage (about 4 cups)

1 cup sauerkraut (preferably raw, but whatevs)

2 Tbs sour cream

2 Tbs Mayo

1 1/2 Tbs apple cider vinegar

1/4 tsp celery salt

salt and pepper to taste

zero carb sweetener (your brand), to taste (about 2 teaspoons of sugar equivalent)

In a large mixing bowl, whisk the sour cream, mayo, vinegar, celery salt, and sweetener (if desired). Add the rest of the ingredients, mix well, and adjust seasonings as necessary. Refrigerate until needed. 

Serves 6

Approximate nutrition per serving ~ 80 calories, 5g fat, 2g protein, 5 net carbs

Cheese For That Whine?

Yesterday was fun...

if fun is spilling an entire venti latte across the table at the lunch-rush-crowded Target Starbucks. 

And let us add to the fun: 

My toddler and girlfriends are seated at said table. 

One girlfriend's phone is now drowning in coffee. 

The baristas are pretending they didn't see it happen and that they don't hear my 3 year old daughter screamsobbing at her shoes being soaked with coffee.

Starbucks napkins are as effective at cleaning up a spill as cheap toilet paper.

But hey, I saved my girlfriend's purse. Priorities. Dur.

Everything worked out, though. We got it cleaned up. My amazing friends cleaned up while I stood there with my mouth open, in shock from all the fun we'd just had. The baristas eventually brought towels and a new drink for me. My friends asked if they could put it in a sippy cup. The drowned phone is in a bag of rice waiting for tiny asian elves to come and fix it while we sleep drying out. 

There's an Amber Alert out on my pride - let me know if you've seen it. My guess is it's buried in a landfill within a mushy mass of Starbucks napkins.

By dinnertime, I was whiney and tired from a long day. And what goes better with a good whine than some cheesy comfort? 

A spontaneous foodgasm is born.

Romano Chicken with Lemon Broccoli Alfredo

serves 4

Ingredients

For the chicken

4 chicken breasts

salt and pepper

3/4 cup finely shredded or grated Romano cheese

1/2 cup ground almonds or Italian style breadcrumbs (or a combination of both)

zest of 1 lemon (reserve the 1/2 the zested lemon for garnish, and use the other half for the pasta)

2 tbs canola oil

1 tbs olive oil

For the pasta

3/4 cup heavy cream

3/4 cup milk (or half and half)

zest of 1 lemon

juice of 1 1/2 lemons

4 tbs butter

salt and pepper

1/4 tsp nutmeg

2 crowns of broccoli (preferably with long stalks)

1 cup finely shredded or grated parmesan (preferably parmigiano reggiano)

14 oz fettucine noodles (I used GF brown rice fettucine)

Preheat a large nonstick skillet to medium/medium high heat, and set the oven to its lowest possible temperature. Line a baking sheet with foil or parchment - for easy cleanup - and set a cooling rack over top. Reserve. Bring a large pot of water to a boil. 

Prepare the chicken breasts by pounding them out (that's what SHE said) between two sheets of plastic wrap. You want them about 1/2" thick. Start pounding in the center an work your way out.(That's what SHE said.) Season with salt and pepper. Combine the Romano, almonds or breadcrumbs, and the lemon zest in a shallow dish. Add the oils to the hot skillet. Place one chicken breast in the cheese mixture and press it in to adhere the cheese. Flip and repeat, and flip and repeat again until the breast is entirely covered with the mixture (That's what SHE said).

Carefully add the chicken to the hot oil and cook about 4-5 minutes on the first side. After about 3 minutes, use tongs to move the chicken back and forth in the pan a little. Try not to lift the chicken while doing this - the goal is to loosen the coating from sticking to the pan without picking the chicken up - just give the breast a little jiggle (twSs!). While it cooks, coat the next piece of chicken so it's ready to go in the pan when you're ready for it. After 4-5 minutes on the first side, use the tongs to carefully but firmly (that's a technical term) grab the edge of the chicken and flip it over. Hopefully you'll have a beautiful cheesy crust that sticks to the chicken. (On my first go, I didn't wriggle on the first side, and the coating didn't stick - no biggie, I just used the tongs to pick up the bits and piled it on top of the chicken - that piece went to our toddler. The wriggle yielded crispy brown loveliness for the the remaining pieces.) Cook the second side for about 3 minutes and do the wriggle again, then let it finish cooking about another minute. Once cooked, remove the chicken to the prepared rack and keep warm in the oven while you repeat the whole breading/cooking process for the remaining pieces. Remove the skillet from heat and reserve it.

*If you have leftover cheesy crumb mixture, you can put it in a nonstick skillet and brown it to crunchy goodness, or bake it in a 400 degree oven on nonstick foil for the same crunchy result. (The cooking process will get rid of any raw chicken funk.) The crunchy bits make great croutons!

Aggressively salt the boiling water, then add the pasta and cook according to package directions for al dente. 

Add the heavy cream and milk to the reserved skillet, then whisk in the lemon juice. Add the butter and set the skillet over med-low heat, stirring occasionally. Just when the butter melts, remove from heat and stir in the lemon zest, nutmeg, and salt and pepper to taste (go easy on the salt as the parmesan you'll add later is very salty).

While the butter melts, prepare the broccoli crowns. Cut off the stalks to separate the crowns into large florets. If you have large stalks, peel them with a vegetable peeler to remove the tough exterior, then julienne them into long, skinny sticks (twSs!). With about 4 minutes remaining in the pasta cooking, add the julienned stalks to the boiling pasta. The cooked stalks will be like broccoli noodles. With about 2 minutes remaining, add the florets (you can add them sooner if you like your broccoli more cooked - I prefer them al dente). Drain the pasta and broccoli and add to the skillet with the cream mixture. Add the shredded parmesan and toss well to combine everything. Taste for seasoning and adjust as necessary.

Serve the chicken over the pasta with a little squeeze of lemon for garnish, and drown (out) your whiney woes with the naughty sounds of foodgasm.

Get Me Out of My Comfy Pants!

I'm still here, promise. I haven't been in the kitchen as much the last couple of weeks. Sorry to say we've eaten quite a bit of takeout, and I'm even more sorry to say that it's starting to catch up with my waistline. Time to reel things in a bit before I have to put on my real big girl panties, aka Spanx. But that doesn't mean the family will be eating rabbit food until Thanksgiving. I've got a couple of comforting dishes up my sleeve, and they'll help me come back from this food-guilt-trip I've been on. Both are delicious - spicy with a hint of sweet - and they're packed with nutrients. The first is my chicken chili, filled with warm spices and a bit of cocoa to mimic the flavor of Mexican molé sauce. The second is my sausage and white bean soup with an autumn spin. They both get better with age, so feel free to make them ahead.

Holy Molé Chicken Chili

Ingredients 

1lb boneless, skinless chicken thighs

nonstick cooking spray

salt

olive oil

1 large portobello mushroom cap, chopped

1 red onion, chopped

1 bell pepper (any color), chopped

1 pasilla pepper, chopped

3 cloves garlic, finely chopped

3/4 bunch collard greens, chopped

1 1/2 cups frozen corn, thawed

2 tbs chili powder OR 1 tsp ancho chile powder + 1 1/2 tsp each cumin and coriander

1 tsp dried oregano or epazote

*1/2 tsp cinnamon

*1/2 tsp nutmeg

*1/2 tsp ginger

*1/4 tsp cardamom

*1/4 tsp cloves

(*or substitute 2 tsp pumpkin pie spice)

2 tbs unsweetened cocoa powder

2 tbs tomato paste

12 oz dark beer, such as Guinness

1 large can (28 oz) whole tomatoes

2 cups chicken stock/broth

1 small sweet potato, chopped (skin on or off)

2 cans low sodium beans, your favorite variety, such as kidney and/or black beans (I used one of each)

handful of raisins

handful of tortilla chips

1 lime

1/2 cup shredded cheese, your favorite kind (I used a habanero jack)

1/3 cup cilantro, chopped, plus additional for garnish

chopped scallion for garnish

chopped avocado for garnish

Preheat a soup pot or large, deep skillet to med-high heat. Spray the chicken thighs with nonstick spray and season liberally with salt. Add to the searingly hot pan and cook until deeply browned on both sides and cooked through, about 8-10 minutes. Remove and allow to cool. Add 1 tbs olive oil to the pan, then add the mushrooms. Cook until they begin to brown, then add the onion, peppers, and a pinch of salt. Cook until they begin to soften and brown on the edges. (A crust will develop on the bottom of the pan - this is a good thing!) Add the garlic and cook 30 seconds, then add the greens. Cook a minute or 2 to wilt them. Add the corn, spices, and cocoa powder. Toast the spices in the pan for about a minute. Add the tomato paste and stir to incorporate; cook for another minute or so to bring out its flavor. Add the beer. Let it work its magic for a minute, then scrape all the crust off the bottom of the pan with a wooden spoon (the beer will loosen it). Add the tomatoes and their juice, and break them  up with a wooden spoon or potato masher. Add the stock/broth and the sweet potato. Bring the chili to a boil. Meanwhile, shred the chicken into bite-sized pieces. Add it to the pot, along with any juices that accumulated with it. Reduce the chili to a simmer and cook until the sweet potatoes are tender.

While the chili simmers, add half the beans (and any of their liquid that falls in) to a blender or food processor (1 whole can or 1/2 a can of each if using 2 different kinds). Add the rest of the beans to the simmering chili. Add a handful of raisins and tortilla chips to the blender, and puree the mixture completely. Add the raisin/bean/chip puree to the chili and stir to incorporate. If the chili is too thick, add a bit of water to your preferred consistency. Taste for salt and season as needed. If the chili is too thin, simmer uncovered until it reduces to your liking (or remove some of the chili and puree it in the blender and add it back to the pot to thicken it).

Squeeze half the lime into the chili, and stir in the cilantro. Use the other half of the lime to dress the avocado. Serve garnished with shredded cheese, cilantro, green onion, and avocado (or any combination of those or any other garnish you enjoy).

Serves 6     Prep Time - 10 minutes     Cook Time -  about 45 minutes

And dennnnnnnnnn...

NO AND DEN!

And dennnnnnnnnn...

Feels Like Fall Sausage & White Bean Soup

This soup has a lovely balance of savory, sweet, and spicy thanks to the chicken-apple sausage, butternut squash, crushed red pepper, nutmeg, and the many layers of appley goodness going on in it.

Ingredients

2 tbs canola oil

1 package uncured chicken-apple sausage, sliced

1 onion, chopped

2 ribs celery, chopped

1 large apple, chopped

salt

1/4 to 1/2 tsp crushed red pepper flakes (depending on how spicy you want it)

2 cloves garlic, finely chopped

1 smallish bunch kale (tough stems removed), chopped

1 cup hard apple cider

1 bay leaf

*sage stems (optional)

3 cups butternut squash, cubed (fresh or frozen and thawed)

1/2 tsp nutmeg

1 cup apple juice or cider

3 cups chicken stock or 3 cups water + good quality chicken base

1 can white beans, rinsed and drained

Preheat a soup pot over medium heat. Add the oil, and when it shimmers add the sausage. Cook until evenly browned. Add the onion, celery, and apples, season with salt and the crushed pepper, and cook until they begin to soften, about 5 minutes. Add the garlic and cook 30 seconds, stirring. Add the kale and cook a couple of minutes to wilt it. Add the hard cider to the pot and stir it around, using a wooden spoon to scrape up any brown bits on the bottom of the pan. Add the squash, bay, sage stems, nutmeg, juice, and stock/broth to the pot. bring to a boil, and reduce to a simmer. Cook until the squash is tender, about 20 minutes. Add the beans. Taste the soup for salt and adjust seasoning as necessary.

Slurp.

Serves 6     Prep time - 10 minutes     Cook time - 30 minutes

The Waffle Witch Plays (w/ her) Chicken

Everyone's heard of chicken and waffles. It's a tried and true, sweet-and-savory combination. There are restaurants named after it... Lay's recently offered it as a limited edition flavor of potato chip... hell, if you Google "chicken and," it's the second suggestion on the list after chicken and dumplings. And for good reason. Can you say, foodgasm? Anyway, due to my recent dabbling in wafflewichcraft, my waffle iron has been getting constant use, and my witchy-wheels got to turning yesterday after I cooked up a batch of Clinton Kelly's insanely delicious (and figure-friendly!) crispy chicken thighs. (Seriously, guys - so freaking good! I cook them at 450 degrees for 45-55 mins until they are borderline chicken-jerky on the outside and moist inside.)

<------ Clinton's Crispy Chicken Thighs

If you can resist the overwhelming urge to immediately snarf the whole sheet, then, first of all, you are superhuman. Second of all, put those bad boys in the refrigerator and eat them the next day as a midday snack or for lunch. They totes taste like cold fried chicken, are full of protein, and are under 150 calories per thigh.

The fam and I are less than superhuman, and we may have eaten a sheet of 8 small thighs among us, shortly after these emerged from the oven. Minus a few pan scrapings/pickings I saved for later...

Crispity, crunchity, chickeny goodness ------>

After eyefucking those crunchy bits for longer than I'd like to admit, my eyes wandered to the shiny waffle iron sitting a few feet away. Hmmm...

Chicken...

Waffles...

Chicken and waffles...

Chicken in waffles?

Chicken. In. Waffles.

YES!!!!!!!!

Chick'n'Waffles

Before you bawk at the idea of these, give them a chance!

Couldn't resist. Sorry.

(So not sorry.)

You could very easily prepare these according to your favorite waffle recipe, with the additions of the spices, syrup, and, of course, the chicken. I wanted to make them a bit healthier, so I made a 

grain-free/gluten-free version.

Ingredients:

2 tbs chia seeds

6 Tbs water

3 Tbs coconut oil, melted

1/2 cup pumpkin puree

1 egg

1/4 cup maple syrup

1/2 cup almond, coconut, or dairy milk

1/2 tsp vanilla extract

1 cup almond flour

1/2 cup cornmeal (preferably stone ground)

1/2 cup tapioca starch, arrowroot, or cornstarch

2 tbs coconut flour

1 tsp baking powder

1/4 tsp onion powder

1/4 tsp cinnamon

1/4 tsp paprika

1/4 tsp black pepper

1/4 tsp kosher or sea salt

1/2 cup crispy chicken pieces, finely chopped

Mix the chia seeds and water in a small mixing bowl and allow to set/gel while you prepare the dry ingredients. In a large mixing bowl, whisk the almond flour, cornmeal, starch, coconut flour, baking powder, and spices. Reserve.

To the chia seeds, add the coconut oil, pumpkin, egg, maple syrup, milk, and vanilla. Whisk to thoroughly combine. Make a well in the center of the dry ingredients, and pour in the wet. Gently mix until almost combined. Add in the chicken, and gently fold in until completely combined. 

Do not over mix. Allow batter to rest while you preheat a waffle iron.

Pour the batter onto the iron, close the lid, and cook until the iron stops (or mostly stops) steaming, about 3 minutes. Remove and repeat.

These are delicious with a classic maple syrup, but they are over-the-top served with this maple-mustard syrup:

Maple-Mustard Syrup

Ingredients:

1 cup real maple syrup

1 Tbs dijon mustard

1 tsp apple cider vinegar

2 whole cloves

Whisk all ingredients in a small saucepan and bring to a low boil. Reduce heat to simmer, and cook 15-20 minutes, until syrup has reduced a bit. Remove cloves before serving.

The waffles topped with this syrup are a perfect balance of sweet and savory. One of my new favorite breakfasts. For reals.

And if you really want your family to love your face off...

go OVERTHETOP and serve these waffles with my family's favorite bacon.

I'm not kidding. After one bite of this badass breakfast, my 10 year old son closed his eyes for a moment (to savor - duh- taught him well), opened them and looked at me and said, "Mom, I'm so glad you're my mom."

If that doesn't melt your heart, this bacon just might.

Black Pepper Brown Sugar Bacon

Ingredients:

8-12 slices good quality (preferable uncured) peppered bacon

1/4 cup dijon mustard

1/4 cup brown (or coconut/palm) sugar

Line a half sheet pan with a silicone mat or with nonstick foil. Line up the bacon slices on the pan. Slather the bacon in the mustard, flip over, and slather the other side. Sprinkle half the sugar all over the bacon, then flip over again and sprinkle the rest on the other side. Place the pan in the oven, and set the (cold) oven to 350 degrees. Bake until the bacon has rendered its fat, about 20-30 mins, flipping the slices occasionally for even cooking. Cool a few minutes and serve. 

Do not, I repeat, DO NOT, bring this bacon into contact with paper towels. 

Unless you want a lot more fiber in your diet.

Once you pull the bacon off the lined pan to serve it, there will be delicious bacon caramel (a.k.a. "bacon crack") semi-stuck to the pan. Please don't waste it. EATIT! Or save it. It freezes beautifully in a freezer bag. Use it like sprinkles on your favorite things... cupcakes, cobblers/crumbles, ice cream, in your oatmeal/grits... IDONTCAREJUSTEATIT!!!

UPDATE!

Who doesn't love a little recognition?! Thank you, EveryDay w/ Rachael Ray magazine for featuring this recipe on your blog! 'Twas very exciting!

You can read the feature on their blog.